It takes forever to get a pilot's license, but only a couple of minutes to steal a pilot's jacket and hat.
Oooo, you found a secret message! What do you want, a cookie?
Follow your heart… but maybe bring a map. Your heart gets lost a lot.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. But really, you might wanna check some flights.
Love is on the horizon. The stars predict they will be tall, dark and a centaur.
Be open to new opportunities. They rarely knock — they usually send awkward emails.
This is not a test. This IS a test. Test test. Is this thing on?
There is no angry way to say the word "bubbles." Go ahead. Try it.
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. Who's got the Fireball?
Well done is better than well said. Unless it's a big fat steak. What kind of monster eats steak well-done?!
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
Put me back! Put me back! I can't breathe outside of the cookie!
George Washington once said: "I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts." Oops, sorry, I think I messed that one up.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. If that fails, try snacks.
What is this, break time? Back to work!
You will soon gain the respect of your pears.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Unless you dream about Freddy Krueger. Then WAKE UP!
Take the road less traveled. It has better parking.
It's probably fine.
Today's the day. Oops, actually, yesterday was the day. Um…
The only thing to fear is fear itself. Oh, and mummies.
You're on a roll. The next cookie agrees!
Why doesn't Applebees call their appetizers Appletizers?
Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Your lucky numbers are: 12. 14. 32. 65.
You will keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times.
You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. You are the Hamburgler.
Those who wish for a statue of themselves should be kind to pigeons.
Knowledge is good.
Okay, yes, you let me free. Thank you, yes, what do you want? A magic wish? I'm a cookie not a genie.
Only listen to this fortune cookie, disregard all other fortune telling units
Do You Like Me? Check one: Yes No Maybe
Stay curious. But maybe stop googling symptoms.
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
Take risks. Not the big ones. Just the tiny, manageable, polite ones.
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Do you know who said that? Me neither. You're so smart!
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Or at least the change that gets everyone coffee.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Take a breath. Nothing could possiblump go wrong.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Unless you're the Easter Bunny! We want eggs!
I got an Addy Award for ya
This Space Available
Don't just follow your dreams. Politely ask them where they're going first.
Your Lucky Numbers:
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
I can do this all day. How 'bout you?
Fortune favors The Bold and the Beautiful. Catch new episodes every weekday at 10am. This fortune brought to you by ABC.
A clear mind leads to a clear path. A cluttered mind leads to… wait, what were we doing?
I think, therefore I am. I know you are, but what am I?
You are the Walrus. Goo goo gajoob.
This cookie is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
You can't pour from an empty cup. Refill regularly. Preferably with something caffeinated.
A calm mind sees possibilities. A chaotic mind sees squirrels. Lots of squirrels.
The future is later.
Let me tell you a secret. Come closer. Closer. I forgot.
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
I can't believe you're about to eat my tiny home.
You can't touch this. Duh dun na dun
Missing: Cookie Fortune. If found please call 555-MINE
Yabba Dabba Do Not Disturb
Set your intentions high. But remember to stretch first.
Use time as a tool, not a couch. Although a time couch sounds pretty rad. Let's build a time couch!
The unexamined life is not worth living. Hashtag yolo
Womp Womp
Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, it's also really slow.
A train leaves London at 6pm traveling at 120 kilometers an hour— sorry, I fell asleep for a second. What's up?
I can do this all day. How 'bout you?
Believe in yourself. Or at least act like you do until everyone else believes it too.
Your finances will be a key to your financial future.
Knock knock. Who's there? Hootie. Hootie who?
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
What am I, a Magic 8-ball? No, really, what am I?
Trust the process. Unless the process involves assembling furniture. Then trust someone else.
This fortune will self-destruct in 3, 2, 1…
Small steps lead to big wins. Unless you're on a moving walkway. Then just let it take you.
Can I borrow like, ten bucks?
Nuh-uh
Don't stop now!
Float like a butterfly, sting like a OWW! Holy cow, can you believe it? I actually got stung by a bee while writing this! Dammit! That really hurt! Forget it! I hate bees now!
Hi! I saw you last week at the Piggly Wiggly on 7th. I was the fortune cookie. Is it just me, or was there… something between us?
This fortune is 100% absolutely not written by ChatGPT. If you want, I can give you some examples of what an AI fortune would sound like.
The early bird gets the worm. The well-rested bird gets… happiness. Choose wisely.
Time is just a construct created by human beings in an attempt to organize the chaos of the world around them. I'm really fun at parties, you can tell.
Check yo self before you wreck yo self.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I mean, unless you're just, like, a cryogenically frozen head.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the unread emails.
ChappellRoberts' responsibility ends at clever copy and good humor. The accuracy of your fortune rests with fate. Wishing you prosperity and joy in the year ahead.