I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
Patience is a virtue. Unfortunately, it's also really slow.
Those who wish for a statue of themselves should be kind to pigeons.
Your finances will be a key to your financial future.
You will soon gain the respect of your pears.
Your Lucky Numbers:
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
6 7 6 7 6 7 6 7
Missing: Cookie Fortune. If found please call 555-MINE
Knock knock. Who's there? Hootie. Hootie who?
This cookie is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
What is this, break time? Back to work!
You're on a roll. The next cookie agrees!
Fortune favors The Bold and the Beautiful. Catch new episodes every weekday at 10am. This fortune brought to you by ABC.
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don't take. Who's got the Fireball?
Be the change you wish to see in the world. Or at least the change that gets everyone coffee.
Well done is better than well said. Unless it's a big fat steak. What kind of monster eats steak well-done?!
I can't believe you're about to eat my tiny home.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a OWW! Holy cow, can you believe it? I actually got stung by a bee while writing this! Dammit! That really hurt! Forget it! I hate bees now!
Why doesn't Applebees call their appetizers Appletizers?
Check yo self before you wreck yo self.
Only listen to this fortune cookie, disregard all other fortune telling units
You can't touch this. Duh dun na dun
Momentum is a powerful thing. Keep cracking!
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. Do you know who said that? Me neither. You're so smart!
Take risks. Not the big ones. Just the tiny, manageable, polite ones.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from it.
Trust the process. Unless the process involves assembling furniture. Then trust someone else.
This fortune will self-destruct in 3, 2, 1…
Be open to new opportunities. They rarely knock — they usually send awkward emails.
Avoid taking unnecessary gambles. Your lucky numbers are: 12. 14. 32. 65.
Hi! I saw you last week at the Piggly Wiggly on 7th. I was the fortune cookie. Is it just me, or was there… something between us?
The unexamined life is not worth living. Hashtag yolo
It's probably fine.
I can do this all day. How 'bout you?
Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Unless you're the Easter Bunny! We want eggs!
Use time as a tool, not a couch. Although a time couch sounds pretty rad. Let's build a time couch!
It takes forever to get a pilot's license, but only a couple of minutes to steal a pilot's jacket and hat.
There is no angry way to say the word "bubbles." Go ahead. Try it.
This is not a test. This IS a test. Test test. Is this thing on?
If at first you don't succeed, try again. If that fails, try snacks.
Set your intentions high. But remember to stretch first.
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Unless you dream about Freddy Krueger. Then WAKE UP!
Small steps lead to big wins. Unless you're on a moving walkway. Then just let it take you.
Womp Womp
You're on a roll. The next cookie agrees!
Oooo, you found a secret message! What do you want, a cookie?
A calm mind sees possibilities. A chaotic mind sees squirrels. Lots of squirrels.
Take a breath. Nothing could possiblump go wrong.
I saw what you did and I know who you are.
Time is just a construct created by human beings in an attempt to organize the chaos of the world around them. I'm really fun at parties, you can tell.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
What am I, a Magic 8-ball? No, really, what am I?
A clear mind leads to a clear path. A cluttered mind leads to… wait, what were we doing?
Follow your heart… but maybe bring a map. Your heart gets lost a lot.
Can I borrow like, ten bucks?
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
Okay, yes, you let me free. Thank you, yes, what do you want? A magic wish? I'm a cookie not a genie.
The future is later.
This fortune is 100% absolutely not written by ChatGPT. If you want, I can give you some examples of what an AI fortune would sound like.
You will keep your arms and legs inside the cart at all times.
You are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul. You are the Hamburgler.
Love is on the horizon. The stars predict they will be tall, dark and a centaur.
Nuh-uh
Do You Like Me? Check one: Yes No Maybe
Believe in yourself. Or at least act like you do until everyone else believes it too.
Yabba Dabba Do Not Disturb
Ooo, you're good at this! Try it again!
I think, therefore I am. I know you are, but what am I?
Put me back! Put me back! I can't breathe outside of the cookie!
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. But really, you might wanna check some flights.
Today's the day. Oops, actually, yesterday was the day. Um…
You can't pour from an empty cup. Refill regularly. Preferably with something caffeinated.
Let me tell you a secret. Come closer. Closer. I forgot.
Don't just follow your dreams. Politely ask them where they're going first.
The only thing to fear is fear itself. Oh, and mummies.
You are the Walrus. Goo goo gajoob.
A train leaves London at 6pm traveling at 120 kilometers an hour— sorry, I fell asleep for a second. What's up?
Do it again. Double dog dare ya.
The early bird gets the worm. The well-rested bird gets… happiness. Choose wisely.
This Space Available
I got an Addy Award for ya
Knowledge is good.
Stay curious. But maybe stop googling symptoms.
Aim for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the unread emails.
Take the road less traveled. It has better parking.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. I mean, unless you're just, like, a cryogenically frozen head.
George Washington once said: "I cannot tell a lie. I like big butts." Oops, sorry, I think I messed that one up.
ChappellRoberts' responsibility ends at clever copy and good humor. The accuracy of your fortune rests with fate. Wishing you prosperity and joy in the year ahead.